Wednesday, April 19, 2006

stretching


So, we have these beautiful tulips in our yard right now (not the ones in the picture, but red ones and I would have taken a picture of them, but alas, my camera is broken... sad day). I've been observing them over the past two days... yesterday morning and early afternoon it was really cloudy and dreary out and I noticed that the tulips were all closed tight and kind of bending over... like they wanted to just crawl up under a blanket and sleep through the dreariness (sounds exactly like what I wanted to do!). But the sun did come out in the late afternoon, and Emma and I sat outside for a while. I then saw that the tulips were standing straight up, and the petals were open and they looked so beautiful - like they were stretching as far as they could to get a look at the sun and absorb as much warmth as possible.

I feel like I've been in this dreary season for the past nine months or so - things have been changing with CSF - the people I was investing in were no longer a part of the ministry, and a ton of new students were coming in - kind of a transition time. We have been in this relationship building stage where we've just been getting to know the people who have been coming, and I'm not really very good at that so it's been harder for me. I haven't been very excited about things, and I realized today that it was because I'm not gifted in that area - I am much better at discipling and digging into people's lives once the initial relationship has been built and when I have earned the right to challenge them. So, I haven't been living in my full potential in ministry because of that... but I guess that's just the way ministry ebbs and flows sometimes. So, I've felt like those tulips when it was cloudy out - closed up and weighted down... but I'm beginning to see signs of the sun coming through the clouds - Mexico really helped solidify people within CSF and I'm starting to have really good conversations with people... and I can feel the excitement of looking toward next year and seeing all of the possibilities... seeing how people will start to grow.

It makes me think about farming - how farmers will plant a certain crop in a field several years in a row, but every fifth year or whatever they will need to not plant anything there - the field will need to have a rest in order for it to give it's best in crops later. Maybe I've just needed this year to rest a little bit... so I can be fully present in the ministry next year. I'm beginning to open up my petals and draw in the warmth.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

so sorry

Here is my apology for not being very up-to-date with my blog, and for not coming up with anything interesting enough to blog about. And so, I will commence with an update of life-events...

It's Easter - Happy Easter! He is risen! I was able to spend the day with my roommate Betsy's family which was fun and relaxing... good food. I've been glad to think about the day and the resurrection of my Lord... how He died for me and conquered death and my sin... how He forgives me of sins I commit... and not only that, but forgets about them. I have a tendency to believe that he keeps a file with all of my sins written on them so that He can flip through them and remind me of them later... but not so. In Psalm 103:12 says, "as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." How much differently would I live if I truly believed this? Would I allow myself to accept and rejoice in His grace? Would I more easily be able to give grace to others? I hope I will be reminded of this over and over until it sinks in.

I've been enjoying spending time with Nick, getting to know him, getting to know myself. I'm amazed at how easy it is to be with him, to be open with him and vulnerable. I haven't had so much fun or have felt so happy for a long time. Just thinking about him makes me smile. I feel pretty lucky.

Other than that, ministry is going well... though I must admit that I am longing for summer: the sun on my skin, relaxed days of reading and being refreshed, dreaming and planning for the next school year, taking trips and having fun, sitting outside in the warm nights looking at stars... Just a few more weeks and it will be here!

Sorry it doesn't get any more exciting... I'll try harder next time...

Monday, April 10, 2006

Cynthia Sofia Petersen


Here she is, my beautiful niece, born April 3, 2006.

My mom trying to wake her up.

Big brother, Robert.

With my dad, look how tiny she is!

Not exactly sure what to do.

Uncle Mike (soon to be Grandpa Mike, hahahaha) and Aunt Jenny

My brother Rick, proud father.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Where the Sidewalk Ends...

Today, I bought the book Where The Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein for my nephew, Robert. It was one of my favorite books growing up - we didn't own it, but I kept checking out over and over from the school library. Here's the title poem that inspires me:

Where The Sidewalk Ends

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
And the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
We shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And watch where the chalk-white arrows go
To the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
And we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
For the children, they mark, and the children, they know
The place where the sidewalk ends.
I am entering territory - where the sidewalk ends... it has been surprising, exciting, scary, intriguing. Here's what happened. I met a guy... oh yes! He's a really great guy - Nick. And we started hanging out... we clicked instantly. And we realized we really liked hanging out with each other... so we decided to see where it would lead. And now I'm being blessed by him day after day - learning about myself, about him, about God, about this thing called life. I've never had so much fun... and I've never felt so comfortable before. It's crazy... but good. And so, we'll walk together... measured and slow... and follow the chalk-white arrows that God places before us... to the place where the sidewalk ends.