I heart my iPod

Here is what has been playing most on my iPod lately:

Takk | Sigur Ros


A haunting album by this Icelandic band. I listen to it most while I'm reading in a busy place. The videos are inspiring as well (as I've posted about before).








Transatlanticism | Death Cab For Cutie


I have come to adore Death Cab For Cutie. They have some great tunes that get stuck in your head... some of my faves from this album: Title and Registration, and The Sound of Settling.







Plans | Death Cab For Cutie

The newest Death Cab album... becoming a quick favorite.










Clap Your Hands Say Yeah | Clap Your Hands Say Yeah


A new indie band - the album is fun and sounds raw which is refreshing. I get to see them live at the end of next month, as well as The Brunettes (also a fun band).







Life In Slow Motion | David Gray

This album I love to play when I'm in a contemplative mood... though for some reason my dog absolutely hates this album - seriously, she doesn't care about anything I listen to except for this... when she hear's David Gray's voice, she gets frightened and starts pacing... weird. But a great album besides that!






Illinoise | Sufjan Stevens


This has becoming, hands down, my favorite album of this past year... even above Coldplay and U2. It's fresh, fun, and full of talent. I recommend getting this album at once!







The Relevant Podcast | Relevant Magazine

I wait expectantly for this podcast every week - they talk about movies, music, and culture, and have great interviews with people like Don Miller and Derek Webb.

Paste Culture Club Podcast | Paste Magazine

If you like indie bands - you definately should listen to this podcast. They spotlight several up and coming independent bands and often play entire songs so you can get an idea if you'd like to hear more. They also talk about culture and movies - mostly focusing on grassroots projects. It's pretty sweet.

** A note on podcasts: you can subscribe to a podcast thru iTunes... if you don't have iTunes, I recommend it... you can download it for free here. To subscribe to a podcast, go to the Music Store in iTunes, find the podcast you'd like to get and click subscribe. It's free, which is the best part about it!

27 years

Amazing... 27 years old today and I still act like I'm 12.

In honor of this day, here are 27 things I love about life:
1. The love of my family.
2. The way my friends stick with me through thick and thin.
3. Grace, and the beauty of the Lord.
4. The way my dog gets so excited to see me when I come home, and then loves to simply lay at my feet.
5. Music - the way it inspires and moves me.
6. The privilege of impacting college students' lives through my job.
7. The blessing of working with Dan.
8. Being an advocate for those who are less fortunate.
9. Getting to travel the globe and learn about other cultures.
10. Taking walks with Emma.
11. Reading a good book and letting the story take me away.
12. Watching a beautiful movie and getting lost in the cinematography and lives of the people onscreen.
13. Knitting!
14. Dancing with all my might when no one else is around.
15. Going swing dancing... with some of the greatest guys around - Mark, Jeremy, Brian.
16. Catching up with old friends.
17. Meeting new ones.
18. Road trips!
19. Eating with chopsticks! :)
20. Getting REAL mail.
21. COFFEE!!! Especially Double Mex Mochas (no whip) from the Coffee House... mmm... that makes me smile just thinking about it.
22. Candles.
23. Thunderstorms.
24. Mountains!
25. Lilies ("Like a lily among thorns, so is my darling among the maidens." Song of Songs 2:2)
26. The smell of rain.
27. The ability to live and breath, to laugh and love, to cry and rejoice... the ability to worship the Giver of Life - to "bend and not break at the sight of Him"... what an abundant life I have led thus far.

life is surprising

I've had a two surprising things happen to me in the past few days - all because of this beautiful thing called the internet.

The first was that I reconnected with an old friend from high school - through myspace.com... what a crazy beast myspace is. I went to prom with Nathan my freshman year of high school... in fact we grew up together - went to the same grade school, I was constantly at his house since I was best friends with his sister growing up. But we had lost contact for about 10 years until I unexpectedly found his profile on myspace. And so, we have reconnected via e-mail... what a great surprise this is! Glad I found you again, Nathan!

The second - I had a great conversation with Colin via gmail's chat system... Trisha, you were right that gmail is the coolest thing ever. So, last night at 12:30 AM I sat on my couch and talked to Colin for over an hour while he sat at his desk in his office in Macleod Ganj, Inda at 12:00 in the afternoon. Amazing... half a world away. Thanks, Colin, for the late night chat - we'll have to do it again sometime!

And so, I enter this day wondering what else God has up His sleeve...

coldplay

Here are a few pics from the Coldplay concert last night:

During the song "Yellow", these large yellow balloons fell from the ceiling. People hit them around for a while, and when they popped gold glitter fell from them... it was pretty cool.

angry

here's something that makes me a little bit mad. on another blog that i frequent, they posted about some book burnings that some groups of christians have sponsored... burning books including (but not limited to) the Harry Potter books. this makes me so mad. images of nazi germany come to mind. and as a lover of all literature, the thought of burning any kind of book makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck! yes, let's just burn all of the books that we disagree with so that our kids grow up safe and sound and won't have to bother having their minds sharpened by reading any other kind of thought than the ones we want them to have. grrrrrrrrrr.

My favorite book...

Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen. We went to see the film last night - this being my second time (though the first time wasn't very enjoyable as we had to sit in the very first row, with our heads cocked at strange angles and the picture itself becoming distorted at that close proximity). Beautiful movie - they did a fantastic job with it. You can dispute me if you wish - but this story is close to my heart. I love it - the tension between Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy, the craziness of the Bennett family, the sheer wit and banter that plays out between characters, the romance... *sigh* Read it if you haven't... or at least see the film.

Here are a few great quotes from the book (most are used in the film as well):

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. (this is the very first line of the novel... a great first line!)

A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment. (how true this statement is - seriously guys, if you want to get a glimpse into a woman's mind... read this book!)

An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do.

(and these next two are the things every woman wants to hear from the man she is in love with)

In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.

You have bewitched me... body and soul!

Ah... it makes me happy just thinking about it - perhaps it is time to curl up with the novel myself - along with a good cup of coffee of course!

from me to you

Happy Valentine's Day! I love you all!!

new pictures

here are a few new pictures for you all:

Here is Sarah Miller and I - I must say that we look quite fetching in this one!

Here I am with Brady Jones - who hates to have his picture taken.... muwahahaha! Lovely tongue I have there... why is it that I can barely ever take a normal picture???

And here is the picture I created yesterday... when I look at it I see things that I should have done differently, but overall I think it turned out well. I haven't quite decided what to do with it...

That's all that's new these days... it snowed this weekend and it made me very happy. I took Emma for a walk in it on Sunday and loved watching the huge flakes float down to the ground - they went so slow that sometimes it looked like they were just suspended in the air. There is something about snow that is beautiful and magical - too bad it didn't snow enough to make anything with it. I can't complain though - it's turning out to be a gorgeous day out there!

Anyone have any ideas of a fun way to celebrate my birthday? It's on the 25th - and I turn the grand age of 27... but I am at a loss of what to do. I had planned on going to Chicago for the weekend, but that fell through. Do you have any crazy/fun ideas?

what a way to spend a sunday morning

I love this.

Listening to some great music (purdue christian campus house stuff), drinking some great coffee (mmm... dark sumatra from CoHo), getting ready to play with my oil pastels and create.

A beautiful morning full of worship.

here's to wishing it would snow so I could play in it

love...

So, I haven't been able to shake this sadness. In fact, it seems to be getting worse... but God has been leading me through it - that's what is so great about him - he allows you to feel these emotions, but won't let you just stew in them. He'll draw you out and speak to you in a way that breaks your heart just a little bit more, but if you keep working through it, that is where you will find healing. I know it sounds so strange, but it's real. God is real. I think I've been doubting that lately. It all stems from looking at the actions and attitudes of the "American" church - how we have failed to love and failed to stand up for what is truly on the heart of God - those who are broken, who are suffering, who are destitute... the thousands dying in Africa every day because they live without the basic medicines we have available at our fingertips... those who are being beaten and raped and murdered in a very real genocide in Northern Africa... those who are living in the crowded mud rooms in refugee camps, because their countries are war-torn. In scripture, the poor is mentioned over 2,100 times (thanks to Bono for pointing that out)... the poor is on the heart of God. But it isn't on our hearts here in America. It isn't on my heart as much as I would like it to be. I'm selfish. We all have been selfish. There was a reason that Jesus said the of money is at the root of all evil. Too often I love money more than I love God or the people around me.

Anyway, this is not the intention of this post. I know God is real. I've seen him work in my life more times than I can count and in such profound ways. He's been working lately. Bringing up insecurities and fears that are connected with this sadness. The big one was yesterday as I was reading through the book TrueFaced. It talks about one of the gifts of grace being love... that if we are unable to see that this is a basic need we all have and if we are unable to humble ourselves enough to receive it then we can never truly give it and we can never really experience true grace. A chord was struck in me... not only do we have to acknowledge that we need love, but we also have to confess that we desire love. That is hard for me. Not hard to say I desire God's love, but hard to admit that I desire a man's love. Somehow, in our society, we have come to think that women who truly desire a man's love is weak. Tyler, in a response to my post a few days ago, asked what dreams I felt were crumbling. Honestly, it's this dream - this dream to have someone who loves me, who finds me completely inspiring, who can't live without me. To have someone to attempt to change the world with - to challenge me and spur me on and to travel this great adventure called life with. I feel like it may never happen. So, to admit that I desire it is devastating, because that desire may never be fulfilled. I desperately want to say strongly that I don't need anyone! I can make an impact on my own! God can still use me! Admitting this is not easy for me. I know, I know... everyone tells me to just be patient, to wait on the Lord, to be content with where I am... those things have never been easy for me, and I know they are true, but I'm just trying to be real with what I'm feeling concerning this.

I look at my heart and the way it tries to fulfill this dream - looking for love in all the wrong places it seems. Just once, I wish I was finally at the right place. But I don't trust myself enough to recognize it. The ultimate question - do I stop looking and wait for it to smack me in the face, or do I need to do something to find it? Maybe I just need to learn to trust more. But what does that look like?

My Strengths

A few years ago, I bought the book Now, Discover Your Strengths that was written by the folks from Gallup. With the book you take an online profile to discover what your top strengths are. Below are my results (with a description of each). Read them and let me know if they are true or not - whether you've known me for a long time or not... I'd like to see what you all have to say.

Empathy
You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person's perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person's predicament - this would be sympathy, not empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instictive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings - to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.

Relator
Relator describes your attitude toward your relationships. In simple terms, the Relator theme pulls you toward people you already know. You do not necessarily shy away from meeting new people - in fact, you may have other themes that cause you to enjoy the thrill of turning strangers into friends - but you do derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from being around your close friends. You are comfortable with intimacy. Once the initial connection has been made, you deliberately encourage a deepening of the relationship. You want to understand their feelings, their goals, their fears, and their dreams; and you want them to understand yours. You know that this kind of closeness implies a certain amount of risk - you might be taken advantage of - but you are willing to accept that risk. For you a relationship has value only if it is genuine. And the only way to know that is to entrust yourself to the other person. The more you share with each other, the more you risk together. The more you risk together, the more each of you proves your caring is genuine. These are your steps toward real friendship, and you take them willingly.

Strategic
The Strategic theme enables you to sort through the clutter and find the best route. It is not a skill that can be taught. It is a distinct way of thinking, a special perspective on the world at large. This perspective allows you to see patterns where others simply see complexity. Mindful of these patterns, you play out alternative scenarios, always asking, "What if this happened? Okay, well what if this happened?" This recurring question helps you see around the next corner. There you can evaluate accurately the potential obstacles. Guided by where you see each path leading, you start to make selections. You discard the paths that lead nowhere. You discard the paths that lead straight into resistance. You discard the paths that lead into a fog of confusion. You cull and make selections until you arrive at the chosen path - your strategy. Armed with your strategy, you strike forward. This is your Strategic theme at work: "What if?" Select. Strike.

Responsibility
Your Responsibility theme forces you to take psychological ownership for anything you commit to, and whether large or small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion. Your good name depends on it. If for some reason you cannot deliver, you automatically start to look for ways to make it up to the other person. Apologies are not enough. Excuses and rationalizations are totally unacceptable. You will not quite be able to live with yourself until you have made restitution. This conscientiousness, this near obsession for doing things right, and your impeccable ethics, combine to create your reputation: utterly dependable. When people come to you for help - and they soon will - you must be selective. Your willingness to volunteer may sometimes lead you to take on more than you should.

Belief
If you possess a strong Belief theme, you have certain core values that are enduring. These values vary from one person to another, but ordinarily your Belief theme causes you to be family-oriented, altruistic, even spiritual, and to value responsibility and high ethics - both in yourself and others. These core values affect your behavior in many ways. They give your life meaning and satisfaction; in your view, success is more than money and prestige. They provide you with direction, guiding you through the temptations and distractions of life toward a consistent set of priorities. This consistency is the foundation for all your relationships. Your friends call you dependable. "I know where you stand," they say. Your Belief makes you easy to trust. It also demands that you find work that meshes with your values. Your work must be meaningful; it must matter to you. And guided by your Belief theme it will matter only if it gives you a chance to live out your values.

a little bit of sadness didn't hurt anyone

It's 6:30PM on a Saturday night and I have nothing to do. And that isn't a bad thing. Not at all, I actually look forward to an evening to myself. I've been feeling sad these past two days, about what I'm unsure... it's just there at the back of everything - like at any moment tears could roll down your face but you don't know exactly why. Last night my friend Brady told me hates to see people sad, and that I should hang out with him instead so he can make me laugh. But I think that sometimes it is really good to let the sadness out. Sadness isn't always a bad thing - in fact it is healthier to get it out and deal with it than to stuff it down (as I have been trying to do for the past 24 hours). Sometimes we need to mourn a little bit in order to experience healing and joy. Sometimes we just need to experience the full emotions inside of us so that we can be exactly who we were created to be. I'm not sure what it is I need to deal with - most likely it has to do with some hopes and dreams crumbling, some friendships changing... but so is life. I need to stare my junk in the face and move on (so Rob Bell tells me). I hope you get the chance to do the same.

My Day Off

Being inspired by Tyler, I decided that a great thing to do on my day off would be to walk from my house to downtown. So, I set off with a bounce in my step and good music in my ears (Patsy Cline's "Walkin' After Midnight" and "Crazy", swing music by The Andrews Sisters, and the beautiful voice of Billie Holiday singing love songs - I've been consumed with all things old lately - watching movies like The Philadelphia Story, North by Northwest, and It Happened One Night) It was a beautiful day out, the sun was shining, and I found myself thinking about how wonderful my life is. I'm happy and healthy, I have wonderful friends and family... God has truly blessed me with so much. Maybe this is what he meant by having an "abundant life".

Then I started thinking about a few new-found friends in my life. Since I was heading to the Coffee House, I was thinking about my friend Colin and the journey of his life he is about to embark on in a few days to Northern India to live in a Tibetan community. How happy I am that he is taking a risk and doing something that I know will change his life and perspective. Not many people have the guts to do something like that. Then I started thinking about my own journey to Pakistan (not far from where he'll be) five years ago - thinking about the feel of the place: the heat, the smell of the dirt when it rained, the colors of the clothes, the flowers, the smiles on the Afghan girls during class. I miss it. Then, as I got closer to the Coffee House I realized that as much as I'm glad he's going, I'm sad 'cause he isn't going to be behind the counter when I want a cup of coffee anymore - he won't be there to chat with. How sad. I'll miss you Colin!

Then, I thought about my new friend Jeewon who is from Korea and who I met on Tuesday evening in a random encounter. After CSF, I went over to Amigos to get some food (as my stomach felt like it was going to eat itself). However, when I got there the doors were locked. It was after ten and they had closed. Jeewon was also there wanting to get something, so we decided to go over to Wendy's (yes, I know, very healthy choices - but when it's that late and you are so hungry sometimes you just don't care what you eat!). It too was closed. Chipotle's - closed. So, we head to the Coffee House (I should become a spokesperson for this joint) and had good conversation. It was a good thing we ran into each other because it turns out that she had forgotten her purse in her room, so I bought her iced mocha. She told me she was having a horrible day, so I'm glad I was there to help make it a little better. I walked her back to her dorm, and gave her my number so we could hang out again. Well, when I got to the Coffee House today, she called and came over to have some coffee with me. She even gave me a pair of beautiful earrings - what a sweet girl! I'm glad we ran into each other that night... one can never have too many friends.

And so I started on my trek home and decided to take a few pictures:














This is me... walking...


















I spotted this odd looking squirrel. It appears someone shaved his top half! And this cat was so cute and friendly, I couldn't not pet it.




















A few blocks from my house, I spotted Tyler and Amber walking down the street. After much yelling, I finally got their attention and walked to rest of the way with them.















And when I got to my house, I saw my way awesome bicycle that I got at a garage sale for $10. After walking the 20 some blocks to get downtown and seeing that it didn't take all that long and it was really relaxing - it made time go slower and I got to see so much more than if I would have had I driven... I decided I should do this more often. And I should ride my bike more. But I need to get it tuned up - the gears need a good oiling, and I need new tires. But I don't know much about bikes. Anyone know a good place to take it, or are willing to show me how to do it on my own?

And that, was my day. It was a good one.

silly personality tests

I took this personality test last night - it is based on your color preferences... it's interesting - I think some of it is dead on... I guess you can decide for yourselves.

Jenny took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Desires a tranquil, peaceful state of harmony offe..." Click here to read the rest of the results.